Molestation, Rape,& Prevention. “Kids”

I can tell you some gruesome stories from a once broken and voiceless child. However, I’ll spare you the details and just tell you how to prevent endangerment with child(ren)

1. Trust: Make sure your kids know that they can trust you. Your kids have to know that you have their best interest at heart.
2. Open communication: Make sure your child(ren) know that they can discuss anything with you. Have a very close bond with your children.
3. Listen: Always listen to what your child(ren) is saying. Know everything pertaining to them.
4. Be involved: Be a hands-on parent. Know the kids who your child(ren)are around. Show up at school events and other activities.
5. Ask Questions: Ask questions. Never be afraid to ask a question that will make you or child(ren) question. (For example, I ask my kids questions such as, ” Has anyone tired to touch your personal area? Did anyone say something inappropriate to you? Did someone ask you to do something that made you feel uncomfortable?”
Ask whatever you want to know….Ask it. That one question can save your child’s life.
6. Stay Busy: I believe that kids should stay productive. Have them involved in activities that will keep their minds on positive forces.
7. Be Alert: Dont be a passive parent be alert and don’t trust everyone with your child(ren). Don’t put anything past anyone……remember anyone is capable of doing anything.
8. Be mindful of other children: Never leave children unsupervised. You never know what other kids are exposed to so, watch them around your children. Leave all doors open…..Also please note that Kids will try to touch other kids. (Same sex or opposite sex)
9. Love & PRAYER: Love your child(ren) and be a great role model for them. Give them a pure love that they can’t find anywhere else. Celebrate your child(ren.) Be supportive of your child(ren.) And most importantly pray with your child(ren.) Let your kids know that it’s important for them to have a relationship with God. Also, Take your kids to church (However, watch the church people too! Remember you can’t put anything past anyone. People are people regardless of their titles. I’M KEEPING IT REAL!)
10. Believe your child(ren): When your child(ren) comes to you with information that is affecting them believe them and stand up for them. As a parent you are your child’s voice. So, listen to the things they tell you and be their advocate at all times.

I hope this helps someone…….

How Do You Deal with Death and Grieve

My mother has been deceased for quite some time now. However, I can instantly cry as if she was killed moments ago. I constantly feel like I’m missing a piece of my heart. I feel slightly inadequate. And I constantly imaging what my life would be like if she was here. I imagine the relationship she would have with my kids. I imagine interacting with her. I even have vivid dreams of my mother but, I always wake up disappointed that it was just a dream.

Lord….I miss my momma. The pain is indescribable.

I seriously feel like I’m constantly wanting something that can never have. I’m trying to let this pain go but, I’m honest about my feelings….. I don’t believe that I’ll ever get over my mother’s death.

People would be envious of me for different reasons but, they have no clue of how broken my heart is. The have no clue of what I been through. They wouldn’t want to trade places with me even if their life depended on it.

I carry my pain well….

The Emotional Battle Within

If I told you everything you been through you wouldn’t believe. If I told you everything that I’m currently going through you wouldn’t believe. You would be blown away by my astonishing resilience. Life is challenging for me but, I can’t stop to cry, pout, and get mad over the small things. I can only take life one day at time and move forward. Besides In my heart I know that no weapons formed against me shall prosper.

If you’re going through a Strom I encourage you to stay strong and don’t give up. I believe that you will see the rainbow after the storm. Keep fighting the battle you’re enduring. A year from now you’re going to look back on this era of your life and just smile. You will be proud that you did not give up on thse times. Lastly, you have to know that no weapon formed against you shall prosper!

Stay positive and strong. Surround yourself around with people have your best interest. Stay motivated and active in your purpose! And remember that no weapon formed against you shall prosper!

Love you in Jesus name,

My Ex Husband’s Wifey

Roughly six months ago one of my Ex got married. I was truly happy for him yet worried for his wife. I was happy that he found true love but, I was worried that he will beat her like he beat me. The only thing I could do is pray for the young lady (Kira) being that she was only 21  and he was thirty. Inside I knew she was young, naive, and drunk in love. I knew what it felt like to be on her shoes. The feeling is exciting yet risky. And we all know that no one wants to hear dirty laundry about our partner.

Months passes by and more months passed by and Kira and I still haven’t met. I was fine with that because, there was so much animosity between everyone. Anyhow, she and I informally met via postcard that she delivered through my daughter. I thought the gesture was rather tacky because, I personally would’ve preferred a face to face conversation or a phone call. Anyhow, the letter gave me mixed emotions the letter came off a little negativity and offensive. I knew that her negative energy was streamed from my Ex so, I completely kept my composure. However, I became a little defensive but, I remained sophisticated. Anyhow, in the letter Kira introduced herself and  stated that she wants to be my friend and have peace with me. I told her about myself and I left her with a different perspective about myself. Also, I told her about my abusive marriage. 😉 kira and I exchanged a few words and left it at that.

Then days later Kira began sending me inspirational text messages. The text messages were upsetting me so, I asked her to stop texting me. Then I blocked her number. Maybe a week or so later I unblocked her number. Then out of nowhere she texts me “Its an emergency, I need to talk to you.” This time around my heart was a bit softer so, I immediately asked her “if she was okay? And that I will call her later on that evening.”

Later on that evening I got a phone call from a mutual friend discussing the personal affairs of my Ex husband and his new wife. I was shocked by the details of what I heard. I cried to learn that Kira was going through the same thing I went through. I felt horrible because, I wouldn’t want any woman to encounter the level of abusive that I experienced. My heart literally fell into pieces.

Moreover, later on Kira reached out to me and asked me a few questions about my Ex. I told her the honest truth I did hold back any details because, I knew my Ex manipulated her about EVERYTHING. Long story short she became, mortified that she was entangled in a messy web of deceit. Kira story was exactly like my story! All Kira could say to me was is ” Thank You because, you saved my life.”  It felt good to know that my testimony was helpful to someone else.

Long story short they’re getting a divorce. They’re not getting a divorce about the information I shared with her but, are divorcing for other reasons that she and I discussed. Kira decided to move on with her life and Ex is currently trying to come back into my life.  (THAT’S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.)

My point is that your story can help shed light on someone else’s life. Don’t be secretive about what God has done in your life. Your story may save someone’s life. Someone’s breakthrough maybe in you. God saved you so, you can save someone else. I initially told Kira a little about the abuse solely because, of the things she I were discussing. I also didn’t want kira to think that it’s okay to be abused. Initially Kira was oblivious to what I told her and that’s totally understandable because, most woman don’t want to know that their man have flaws. But inside I knew that Kira kept my words in the back of her head. I knew at some point she would want to know more details. I also knew that I was going to tell her the details. I wasn’t going to deny Kira of any information.

Kira left in an ample of time. She walked away less broken and abused than I was. I can’t share the exact details of everything that she and I discussed but I’ll tell you this her life is Saved and that’s all that matters. And as far as my goes, he needs counseling before he engages in any other relationships. He need God to heal him because, hurt people hurt other people.

I Wish I Was That Woman But, I’m Not!

I wish I was the type of woman that doesn’t easily attached to people. And I wish I wasn’t so vocal about my feelings. And I wish I could just have sex without catching feelings. I wish I could come off normal and not crazy. I wish I was the type of woman that could settle without commitment. I wish I was the type of woman that could remain oblivious to the fact that I’m not only woman in your life. I wish I was that woman because, I’ll be so suitable for you. But the truth of the matter is that I’m not that woman. I’m the complete opposite. And honestly I want a little more than you’re willing to give. That’s completely fine because, that only means I need to move on. I need to do what makes me happy. I need to do what makes me ignite with joy inside. I need to be in position to reciprocate the love that I’m giving. I need to be with a person who doesn’t make me feel a slight bit of insecure about my loving and my being. Granted we’re two different people with two different perspective……..You got what you wanted so now your done…….I haven’t gotten what I wanted so now I’m done…..I hope you are enjoying the arms of the woman who is currently caressing you because, my arms, legs, and heart is forever closed for you. I’m not sure if I’m strong enough to overpower my temptation but,  I’m going to give it my all. So, keep your water down lies, keep your juvenile games, and never look back at me again. Anyhow, I want to end this respectfully since we still have to do business together…… so I’ll fall back don’t expect my calls, my texts, or even a simple hello. As of now you’re apart of my past. And for the final time take care and be God bless you.

Sincerely  fling

Dear Me, I forgive you. Now Forgive others.

For a while my heart was covered with self hate and bitterness all because I made the wrong decisions in life. I was mad at myself for being too naive about my life. I was mad at myself because of my poor decision making. I was mad at myself because, I mapped out my life without God and now I’m paying for it. I was mad at myself because, I failed at so many things.

All this anger just made me bitter and negative towards others.  I was left alone to deal with myself…..Lord knows its not easy dealing with yourself.

Anyhow, I started my forgiveness process by accepting full responsibility for my actions. I then forgave the confused ten year old girl inside of me. (The ten year old girl who thought she was cause of her mothers death.) Then I forgave the teenage girl inside of me. (The teenage girl who was looking for Love all in the wrong arms.) I forgave the lost twenty year old girl inside of me. (The girl who was too impatient to wait on God to bless her. The girl who rather live in the Shadow while God was calling her to the spotlight. The girl who trusted her fears more then her faith in God.)  Finally I stopped mentally and emotionally whipping myself.  I let go of my pass and embraced my future. I released every baggage of the past from my soul. The heaviness and brokenness was removed from my soul. I feel free. I feel compelled to move on with my life.

After I forgave myself I begin to forgive everyone who had hurt me. I ask God to release that poison out of my soul. I had to take charge of my emotions and make a decision not to be angry about the past. Anyhow God answered my prayers and I’m so happy. Now I have peace! My peace is everything that my life has lacked.

I’ve learned that In not perfect and I will make mistakes. You are not perfect and you will make mistakes. So, don’t beat yourself up about your mistakes Just learn from them.

Love yourself and hold on to yourself. Don’t allow people or situations to negatively impact you. Don’t change into a person you cant recognize when you look into the mirror. Never lower your standards and never loose your self worth. You are beautiful inside and outside. Allow God to blossom you into the woman or man he created you to be. God grooming process does not happen over night, it takes time. So, get some alone time with you and Lord. So, he can make you whole for the next chapter in your life.

Love ya

Considering Leaving The “Church”

For a moment I wanted to walk away from God and just back slide. I’ve seen so much behind the scenes of the body of Christ until I was sick to my belly. The things I saw and encounter rubbed me the wrong way. I told God that this church life was not for me.

I popped opened two wine coolers and thought about how I wanted to go back to my old life. I made a phone call to a few industries to make fast money. I called a few old friends who I knew was involved in a lifestyle that God delivered me from. I knew I was wrong but I was hurting inside and I needed a quick fix for the pain.

Of course I told a few of my newer girlfriends and they were displeased! I did not care because, they don’t know the pain that is housed inside of me.

My dear friend convinced me that people are people not Jesus! She ranted on how people make mistakes. (And more) The conversation got deep and the root of my hurt was exposed and I was challenged. I cried and realized that I was angry at God. When I should be upset with myself for placing myself in upsetting circumstance.

To be continued…….

Face Your Truth, Ignore The Rumors

I recently was in a sticky situation that had reputation on the line. I was betrayed and exposed by a so called friend. Some of my business was told and some lies were made. I was humiliated. I felt like  my diary was read out loud. I was so ashamed. I felt my soul burning on fire. I literally cried the entire time evening and I could not eat nor sleep. I delete all of my social networks, I changed my phone number, and I made an grand exit out those individuals  lives. I was livid and I felt the spirit of revenge taking over. So, I had to back up. I wanted to run away far away from this organization. I wanted to fall off the face of the earth. My emotions were raging and my heart was racing.

However, I was tired of running. I was tired of not taking responsibility for my actions. I was tired of being in the midst of drama. I was tired of being childish. I was tired of taking others for granted. I was tired of playing the victim role.

Deep down inside I knew I had to take ownership on my part of the problem. So, I decided to face the truth and disregard the rumors. I decided not run from my issues. I decided to smile when I had every reason to cry. I decided to be positive when I had every reason to be negative. I decided not to fight this battle yet, let God fight this battle. 🙂

It takes courage and growth to face my fears. Its take brevity to hold your head up high when you face your lowest moments.

I’m proud of myself because, I know God is working on me internally. Plus, I learned some valuable lessons and I will share them with you all.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death

It feels like heart is bleeding inside of my body. The pain I feel runs deep down into the soles of my feet. My joy is deprived and my peace has vanished. Stress is written all over my face yet, I’m trying to cover it up with a smile. My eyes are weak from holding back tears. My limbs are fragile because, I can’t eat an full meal. I’m mentally exhausted because I have a thousands things to focus on. My life appears to be a living hell. I’m doing everything by myself and it has caused me to become a cold, cold as the winter sea; and bitter as northern tea.

My life is stressful and on top of that my main support system is moving away. I’m not happy about that because, again I’ll be COMPLETELY own my own. I’m terrified of what the future is holding for. It feels like I’m walking through the valley of death. I have no clue on What is to be a great mom, a good writer, nor a good friend. I didn’t get a manual on “Life 101.” The only thing I can do is pray for the Lord’s guidance during my journey. I will fear no evil. And I’ll allow the Lords rod and staff to comfort me. I’ll wipe away my tears. Pray for restoration and peace.

If you’re feeling like your walking the valley of death. I pray that you latch on to God. And allow his spirit to fall upon you. I pray that God gives you Grace to handle your situations. I pray he gives you peace during your silent tears and restless nights. I pray that every one of your needs will be meet in Jesus name. Don’t give up, God isn’t done with you. Your breakthrough is soon to come. God bless you!
Amen

GoodNight

Killing Yourself Will Not Remove The Pain

I know times are hard for you. I know money is tight for you. I know you have problems resurfacing from your past. I know you have bills that you can’t pay. I know you are struggling mentally, physically, and emotionally. I feel your hurt and I understand your cry. I know you want to give up but, killing yourself will not make things easy. You will never know what the end will be if you kill yourself. You will never know the changes that will take place in your life. Your life weighs more than your problems. To be honest with you, you’ll always have problems in your life. Problems are apart of life. Your problems were designed for you to have faith in Jesus. So, putting a bullet in your head or knife to your wrist will not allow you to build a personal relationship with Jesus.

I don’t care how bad life gets I never want to hear you talking about killing yourself. I don’t care if your homeless, suffering with a terminal disease, or tired of life killing yourself is not the answer. Don’t allow your problems get the best of you. Surround yourself with positive people who will help you. Get involved with groups that will help you mentally.

You have children that love you dearly so, don’t give up on them. Don’t voluntary leave them to a cruel world without their mothers love. They will be so broken, confused, and distraught. Save them the pain.

I’ve been were you are. I wanted to take my own life because, I was tired. Truth be told I was tired of wrestling with what God was doing in my life. ONE day I just surrendered. I did everything he told me to do. I walked away from the people he told me to walk away from. I trusted God when I didn’t food to provide for my children, I trusted God when I couldn’t pay my bills (lights being turned off, having no gas money, car almost being reprocessed.) I trusted God to provide for me and he did.

If God did it for me he will do it for you God doesn’t have a respectable person. Hang in there and press on. Greater is coming your way. This season of your life will be apart of your testimony.
I love you and God bless you!

TO BE CONTINUED