Dear Queen, You’re the Prize!

Dear Queens of the universe,

You are the true essence of beauty. You are divine goodness from our God above. Your purity and love is so distinct yet ravishing. There’s not a creature like you….

I said that to say….

You’re a gift from God and you’re a prize, to the man that you allow in your life. Don’t lower your standards just to be loved. Don’t lower your self esteem just to build up a man’s self esteem. Don’t demoralize yourself just, to prevent your loneliness. Don’t destroy your inner  beauty solely, for a glimpse of love. Don’t sell yourself short just, to have a man.

Be yourself and allow God to send the right man into your life. Enjoy your single life, go and be free…..travel the world, shop til you drop, and most importantly fall in love with yourself.
Don’t rush God’s plans in your life. Enjoy each season and live life to the fullest. You can’t get this time back, once it’s gone. The right man will walk into your life at the right time! When the right man enters your life you’ll feel secure and you’ll have peace.

(Just a reminder)

I LOVE you…..now LOVE yourself

Dear Future Husband,

I want my future husband to really like me for me. I don’t want him to be with me because of my physical appearance. I don’t want my future husband to be with me solely because, I make him look good. I want him to be with me solely because, he loves everything about me. My future husband and I has to have a deep chemistry. He has to accept me for who I am because, loving me isn’t easy.

I want him to be a big thinker, a leader, and a person of great integrity. I want him to be a manly man because, I don’t want to run him over. He has to have a strong personality because, I have one and I don’t want to overshadow his personality.

I would like for him to be intelligent because, I can’t deal with an ignorant man. I need a man who will be able to have intellectual conversations with me. I need a man whose able to discuss politics, world news, social issues, and more.

My husband has to understand and support me because, I’ll do the same thing for him. I don’t want my man to think less of me because, I have dreams and aspirations.

Also, my future husband has to accept my children. He has to know that he will be a father figure in my children lives and he has to be prepared to take on that responsibility. I want my future husband to love and like my children.

Lastly, I want my husband to be a man of God. I don’t want to lead my man to Christ. I want him to already have an established relationship with Christ, before he meets me. I’m not saying he has to be holy and deeply sanctified but, Christ has to be the head of his life.

I want my husband to be my best friend. I want to laugh, cry, and rejoice with him. I want to make memories with him. I want to cook and clean for him. I want to love him and give him my all. I want to travel with him. I want to support him on his goals. I want to cater to him. I want to LOVE and adore him. I want him to only have eyes and hearts for me. I don’t want him to cheat or abuse me. I just want to spend the rest of our lives together.

I honestly think I’ll meet him next year. So, until then I’ll enjoy my life as a single woman.

Enjoy your Sunday

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I Can’t Be A Side Chick….

I’m a grown woman with two children. I work a full-time job and attend school. I don’t have time to play games with a grown boy. Quite frankly your money isn’t substantial enough to suit my lifestyle. And by the looks of your jeans you aren’t packing enough for me. So, you better off sticking with the basic chick that you’re with. Do yourself a favor in stay in your own league. How dare you try to have your cake and eat it too? Your game is weak and pathetic as you. Bye lame!

You’re not charming, you’re not handsome, you’re not wealthy, and you’re not for me so, stay with the woman that can tolerate you. Besides you’re a distraction and a liability. I could have helped you and your career. Bye lame!

Ladies~ I don’t have what it take to be a side chick because, I’m a queen who deserves the finest. I settled once in my life and it was my biggest regret and setback. You can’t pay me a lucrative amount of money to settle again. I rather be alone with my bullet then, to settle for a man who is too blind to notice a diamond in the ruff. Besides I don’t like to share; I require my own time, attention, currency, love, and much more. Furthermore, it’s too many men in the world for me to settle for a half man. Again, I rather be alone with my bullet than to share a man with any woman. Honestly, my confidence would diminish if I was a side chick. I would feel so low and disrespected. I guess that’s why I’m single! Lastly, side chicks don’t get any benefits!!!!!

If you’re a side chick end it because, a man would only do what you allow!!

Remember: if he can’t give you all of his then don’t give him any of you!

Sir, Kiss Both Lips

Kiss both lips and rub your hands down my hips don’t trip the condom might rip. Take your time and do me right because, Lord know I have a full sexual appetite. Put my legs over my head and make me beg for your head. Kiss me on cheeks and call me your little freak. Go inside me and make climax to the max. Make knees go weak hell, I don’t even wanna feel feet. As a matter of fact sex me until I fall asleep…….No wait I wanna ride you backwards like a motorbike grab my waist and watch me throw this sexy thing in a circular motion (while you surf in my deep sea ocean.) Clinch the streets and make good love to me. Grab my breast while I’m going up and down and round and round on top of you. Tell me how much longer you can last while I scream out your name…..I command you to make me fall in love with that powerful thing that’s wrapped up in this laxet glove! But before its all said and done go downtown and kiss both lips to stop the drip!!!!!

That paragraph above was a thought from my mind!! 🙂

Anyhow, it’s hard begin single, saved, and celibate because, a person has to really refrain from sex, porn, lust, sex and toys. This is by far the hardest task that I had to undertake however, I’m going to wait on God. I prefer not to settle because, I want God’s best for my life. Besides its easy to sleep around  but, I want true love, an authentic relationships, and a ring! So, until then I’ll keep myself busy. Pray for me.

Reverend Do Wrong and Sis. Delilah

******WARING This blog post is fictional and very graphic.**********

My name is Delilah I’m a sweet, seductive, and Charming young lady. I recently moved to Orlando from the Bay area after I got involved in a serious murder case and almost lost my life. After that horrible incident my grandparents forced me to relocate. My grandparents and I knew that I wouldn’t live past the age twenty three living in the Bay area. Besides I wanted a change so I agreed to relocate to Orlando with her aunt Tonya Laron.

When I first moved with my aunt Tonya Laron she was highly annoying because all she did was force me to go to church. And boy I hated every moment of that. I wasn’t used to attending church mainly because I stripped on the Saturday nights and I was too exhausted to attend church service on Sunday mornings. Every Sunday morning I could my hear my grandmother Ellis saying “Girl you’re living like a hobo and your mother wouldn’t be proud of you.” I would ignore grandma Ellis and continue to sleep. Besides my parents were deported back to Islands due to drug trafficking so, their opinions didn’t matter to me. However, my auntie Tonya Laron was different from everyone else she made sure I attend church every Sunday, Monday, and Wednesday.

Lord knows I hated going to church up until I heard the Young Adult Pastor preach. The sermon “New Year New Me.” The sermon was so befitting for that time of my life. I thought to myself I would enjoy hearing him preach on a regularly basis. Besides he was SINGLE and easy on the eyes and very well spoken. I honestly enjoyed church more since he preached on relatable topics. I was surprised to see so many of my peers attend church. For some reason I thought that most people my age wasn’t interested in church.

Months after attending church and becoming involved I started following Pastor Bernard on Facebook. I liked at least three or four of his latest post. Then he messages me. I was shocked. Pastor Bernard asked me “Did we personally know each other?” I answer that one question followed by a serious of other questions.

A month or two later Pastor Bernard and I became close. I could talk to him about anything. However, one night I embarrassingly butt dialed his phone after I was leaving a party at Downtown Disney. He sent me a text asking “Is everything okay.” I replied oh yes, I’m well I’m just leaving a party Pastor and I accidentally called you.” Pastor Bernard asked if I could dance, and of course I told him I could but, I didn’t let him know that I was an Ex stripper named lollipop. Pastor Bernard didn’t believe me that I couldn’t dance so, he wanted me to prove it to him. I simply told him that we’ll have to salsa one day in the near future. But to my surprise Pastor Bernard stated that he wanted me to come over tomorrow and dance for him.

I was baffled and I was hoping he didn’t want me to do any praise and worship dances lol. Anyhow, Pastor Bernard ceased my curiosity and basically stated that he didn’t wanted any Churchy dances and that he hoped I wasn’t the churchy type of chick. I paused and chuckle to myself. I wanted to tell him Pastor Bernard, I’ll turn that righteous penis of yours completely out!  Lol

I thought Pastor Bernard was playing so, I texted him “See you later, goodnight.” Besides I started to cream in my panties and I couldn’t help it. He replied “Goodnight Sweets.”

The next day came around and Pastor Bernard texted me. “Good morning Sweets, here’s my address, come by at 6:00 pm, and send a play list of songs that I wanted to dance to. I wiped the morning dew out of my eyes because, I just knew that I was dreaming. Then I waited for a moment and just told him that “I’ll be there and have Uncle Luke playing.”

I was nervous and I didn’t know what to expect but, I was too deep to turn back around. I got up and began my day. I did my laundry, my school work, and took a nap. By four pm I started to prepare myself for this evening.
I took a shower, did my make up, and slipped on a brand new pair of thongs and bra then I slipped on my coat. I wanted to be spontaneous and blow his mind.

I arrived at Pastor Bernard home and he answered the door with a towel only. I was shocked but turned on. He was standing there dripping wet with all of his muscles showing. And for a moment I had a slight organism. Pastor Bernard asked me “if I was planning on coming in?”  We both chuckle and I enter in his place. I asked him if he had any wine and he told me No. From then on I took over.

Me: I took off my coat
Pastor B: Dang your body is banging
Me: Shut up and play my music
Pastor: yes ma’am, whatever you want baby
Me: Sit down in the chair
Me: I wrapped my legs around the chair and I begin to kiss his neck, his chest, and his muscles. I started grinding slow on top of him until he was hard as a rock.
Me: I kissed his forehead and stood up.
Me: I threw my hands in the air and begin twerking my left cheek, then my right cheek, then both cheek. I started  going up and and up and in a circular motion. My tail was moving like a deep sea ocean. I started grinding real slow and I put my hands on my knees and I got low and started throwing my cookie back and forth like I was on a motorcycle real slow up and down and side to side. I took my hands off my knees and twerked my cookie back and forth until I fell into a split. While in a split I started bouncing both cheeks up and down. I took my bra off so he can see my breast and want to suck them. And boy that started driving him crazy. I blew him a kiss and winked my eyes at him. I got out of the split and gave him a lap dance. I was on top of him facing forward and I wrapped my legs around his legs and the chair legs . I placed one of his hands over my breast and the other over my waist and I started stroking him back in forth.

Pastor Bernard: It feel so good
Me: I’m soaking wet and I wanna give you more than a lap dance……

To be continued

My Ex Husband’s Wifey

Roughly six months ago one of my Ex got married. I was truly happy for him yet worried for his wife. I was happy that he found true love but, I was worried that he will beat her like he beat me. The only thing I could do is pray for the young lady (Kira) being that she was only 21  and he was thirty. Inside I knew she was young, naive, and drunk in love. I knew what it felt like to be on her shoes. The feeling is exciting yet risky. And we all know that no one wants to hear dirty laundry about our partner.

Months passes by and more months passed by and Kira and I still haven’t met. I was fine with that because, there was so much animosity between everyone. Anyhow, she and I informally met via postcard that she delivered through my daughter. I thought the gesture was rather tacky because, I personally would’ve preferred a face to face conversation or a phone call. Anyhow, the letter gave me mixed emotions the letter came off a little negativity and offensive. I knew that her negative energy was streamed from my Ex so, I completely kept my composure. However, I became a little defensive but, I remained sophisticated. Anyhow, in the letter Kira introduced herself and  stated that she wants to be my friend and have peace with me. I told her about myself and I left her with a different perspective about myself. Also, I told her about my abusive marriage. 😉 kira and I exchanged a few words and left it at that.

Then days later Kira began sending me inspirational text messages. The text messages were upsetting me so, I asked her to stop texting me. Then I blocked her number. Maybe a week or so later I unblocked her number. Then out of nowhere she texts me “Its an emergency, I need to talk to you.” This time around my heart was a bit softer so, I immediately asked her “if she was okay? And that I will call her later on that evening.”

Later on that evening I got a phone call from a mutual friend discussing the personal affairs of my Ex husband and his new wife. I was shocked by the details of what I heard. I cried to learn that Kira was going through the same thing I went through. I felt horrible because, I wouldn’t want any woman to encounter the level of abusive that I experienced. My heart literally fell into pieces.

Moreover, later on Kira reached out to me and asked me a few questions about my Ex. I told her the honest truth I did hold back any details because, I knew my Ex manipulated her about EVERYTHING. Long story short she became, mortified that she was entangled in a messy web of deceit. Kira story was exactly like my story! All Kira could say to me was is ” Thank You because, you saved my life.”  It felt good to know that my testimony was helpful to someone else.

Long story short they’re getting a divorce. They’re not getting a divorce about the information I shared with her but, are divorcing for other reasons that she and I discussed. Kira decided to move on with her life and Ex is currently trying to come back into my life.  (THAT’S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.)

My point is that your story can help shed light on someone else’s life. Don’t be secretive about what God has done in your life. Your story may save someone’s life. Someone’s breakthrough maybe in you. God saved you so, you can save someone else. I initially told Kira a little about the abuse solely because, of the things she I were discussing. I also didn’t want kira to think that it’s okay to be abused. Initially Kira was oblivious to what I told her and that’s totally understandable because, most woman don’t want to know that their man have flaws. But inside I knew that Kira kept my words in the back of her head. I knew at some point she would want to know more details. I also knew that I was going to tell her the details. I wasn’t going to deny Kira of any information.

Kira left in an ample of time. She walked away less broken and abused than I was. I can’t share the exact details of everything that she and I discussed but I’ll tell you this her life is Saved and that’s all that matters. And as far as my goes, he needs counseling before he engages in any other relationships. He need God to heal him because, hurt people hurt other people.

Breaking My Celibacy

Roughly almost a year ago, a month after my divorce I met a wonderful man who captivated my attention and my heart. He was Godly and he had every characteristics that I wanted in a man. Inside I knew he was heavenly sent. Anyhow, one thing led to another and we both broke our celibacy. It was the worst experience for the both of us. Now don’t get me wrong the sex was absolutely incredible however, spiritually that destroyed us both. From that point on all Hell broke loose in our lives.  The bad thing about this situation was that we only had sex that one time! (I’m going to leave it there!)

My point is to wait until God gives you confirmation that this person is your soulmate. Then of course get married and have sex like wild animals. Also, don’t ever leave God out of any relationship. If God isn’t in your relationship then it will crumble. Trust me!

For the longest I was beating myself up because, I committed this sin. I gave into my flesh and allowed temptation to rule me.

Anyhow, a year later I’ve recommitted my life to Christ. I told God there is no more dating for me. I’m only dating and marrying him! :-); I hope my message inspires someone.

I’m currently in a relationship with Jesus! 🙂

Your Ex Spouse Got Married Before You

Phone call 1:

Hi Saddity Living, where are you kids? Did your Ex get married? He put it on Facebook.

My response: Hi cousin, lol im not sure if he did get married. If so, I hope she has a job! Someone needs to help take care of my kids.

Phone call 2:

Baby Girl: Hi mommy! I have a new mommy. Her name is (blank.)

My Response: You only have one mommy. Do you understand me. I love you baby! 🙂

My Son: Hi mommy (he said very sad)

My Response: Whats wrong Baby? Why do you sound sad? Who are you around? Are you ready to come home?

Son: I’m okay mommy. I’m having fun. I’m here with my grandparents and my daddy wife.

My Response: Okay, but are you fine? Has anyone hurt you? Are you taking care of your sister?

Son: yes ma am! Im watching my sister. Love you mommy. (He hands the phone to his grandmother.)

Grandmother: Hey whats going on?
 
My Response: Who are my kids around?

Grandmother: Just like the kids said. They are here with me, papi, and their daddy wife. I did not want to be the one to break the news. I wanted grown people be grown people. I don’t have a problem with you but, these kids are fine.

My Response: I don’t know this woman Around my kids. This is a tuff transition for the kids. They don’t even know this woman.

Grandmother: They met her the last time they were their. You know I would not let anything happen to these kids. I did not know this until Tuesday. Everyone just found out. This was a short notice.

My Response: ok. Talk to you later

The end.

I found this to be so foul. This is beyond inconsiderate for my children. They are just adjusting to a divorce. In the last past year my kids had at least met five of his lady friends. I was lost for words I was hoping my kids are okay. I hope that they filter out the madness.

Plus, I was wondering how he got a spouse before me. I  was thinking God I know he is still a train wreck.  For crying out loud he does not pay his child support. (He has known this person for 4 or 5 months.) I had to come to my senses and understand that I don’t have be single. I can easily hop into a relationship and settle but honestly I know my worth and settling is not an option. I decided to my mind business and pray for that young lady. I hope she does not get wrapped into an abusive cycle like I did. (But that’s not my business!) I hope she has a job being step mommy isn’t cheap plus he has a net worth of debt 11,000.00 in child support!  🙂

No shade No Tea!

God, Where Is My Husband?

Father,

As you know I’ve been single for two years although I’ve been Divorced only one year. During these two years I’ve learned a lot about myself. You’ve changed me from the inner depths of my spirit to my outwards appearance. You’ve rebuilt my life in such in indescribable way. You have allowed me to cut ties with the people who didn’t have my best interest.
I’ve joined a church that I love and I’m very active in. My children and I are enjoying our lives like never before. It’s like you have erased every bad memory from their past. I’m grateful.

However, father I want to know where is my husband? I’m ready to be his wife. I’m actually ready to be submissive, that’s only because I’ve learned to submit to you. I would like to  have sensual touches, luscious kisses, and sweet conversations with my man. I would like to go on dates with him and laugh at his corny jokes while I blush. Lord, I’m ready to prepare his meals, iron his clothes and make passionate love to him. I’m ready to hold his hand for richer and poorer, and for better or worst and much more. I’m ready to be his help mate by, supporting his dreams, and doing the things that you have called him and I to do. I’m ready to build a lifelong companionship with him. I’m ready to see his flaws and all. I’m ready for heated conversations that will bring him and I closer as one. Lord, I’m ready to have his children (plus, my clock is ticking lol.) Long story short I’m ready for him now.

However, father if your still working on him, I’ll wait patiently. I want him to be just right for me. In the meantime I’m going to stay busy, and focus on purpose, myself, and my children. God, just keep him and I from falling in the traps of temptation and lust.

Amen

Marry Me Or Move On Part 1

It’s 2014 It’s a new year and a new me. That means my mindset and perspective has changed. I have no time to waste on any man who isn’t planning to spend the rest of his life with me. I refuse to do wife duties without holding the title as the wife. I refuse to do any job, task, or, chore without any benefits. I refuse to settle for being a lifetime girlfriend or friend without benefits. It’s either you marry me or move on. I will not wait for you to weigh your options any longer. I will not demote myself just to boost your ego. You know my values and what I stand for. So, you need to make a decision or else you can watch me walk out of your life without any hesitation.

I refuse to lay on my back and give you all of me. And still remain your girlfriend or your friend. I refuse to get on my knees to please you and, still only be your friend or your girlfriend. I refuse to build you up emotionally for another woman. I refuse to help YOU build your dreams while I put my own dreams on the back burner and still be your girlfriend or just a friend. It’s either you marry me or move on.

Now don’t get me wrong if we’re only friends than lets remind only friends. Lets do what friends do. Lets not forget our places. Please understand I’m still here for you if need me emotionally, spiritually, and even financially. However, I will not be there for you on any intimate, romantic, or  passionate levels. Fomr this point on I place the ball in your court. Leaving you with two options. Option 1. Marry me or Option 2  you marry me  move on!

(This is a different post but I hope you like it)