Earlier this month was very emotional for me I celebrated my birthday, My mother’s birthday, and the anniversary of my mother’s death. Each year this difficult for me to experience. This year was even harder because, I had to experience alone. The kids were away, I don’t have a spouse, nor do I have anyone who can fully understand me. So, of course I cried and I wonder “Why Me.” I cried, cried, and cried. Than I thought to myself, why am I crying so harshly. I thought to myself that we will reunite in Heaven. But, it is was deeper than that. I realized that I was blaming myself for my mother’s death. All theses years I felt like she died because, of me. I always thought that if circumstances were different than she would be alive. I held myself accountable for her death. I realized that I was mad with myself and that I didn’t forgive myself. That was a powerful revelation. I’ve understand that my mom would have past, that day and that time regardless. So I’ve forgiven myself and I’ve retrained my thinking. I forgive me. If you’ve faced this or any other situation, I pray you forgive yourself. Overcome this situation. Reconditioned yourself and your thinking and understand that only, God knows the day and time for everyones return to Heaven.
Saddity Living 