ShondaMaria: Transparent & Vulnerable

Sometimes I feel so alone in this large world. At times I feel like picking up moving away and never returning. I desire to go far far far away and never look back.

Inside I feel slightly broken and highly vulnerable. I push people away because, I’m fearful of being hurt. Frankly, I have two family members who I really trust and I know they have my best interest at heart. I have one real friend who truly loves and accepts me. Everyone else has reason~being relationships with me. My mother is deceased and my father has his own family so, at the end of the day it’s just the kids and I.

When I cry theirs no one to wipe my tears. When I have a bad day theirs no one to listen to me. When I’m mentally stressed out and tired as a dog I still have  to find strength within to keep pushing. When my kids are acting like wild ungodly creatures their is no one to help me. I have to do what I have to do even if I don’t feel like it. I’m not going to lie that crap hurts my soul but, I don’t have time to throw myself a pity party. (I’m a mother, a student, an employee, and an individual.)

It’s all good because, every day want be like today. Someday will be better than today.

If you feel like me….just keep pushing at some point change will prevail in your life.

God Allowed It To Happen

Sometimes God prevents people from blessings you so, he can bless you. God will tie the hands of others so, he can bless you. God will remove people out of your life so, he can strength your relationship with him. God does because he knows that humans will sometimes become boastful and will attempt to steal his credit! So, don’t get angry when people disappoint you.  Just understand that God allow things to occur for a particular reason.

This entire year I’ve heard thousands of lies. I’ve experienced countless disappointments. And on top of that I’ve ended some close relationships. However, God did this to prepare me for the next season in my life. At first I was confused and hurt but, I realized that God prevent me to receive help from others so, he can release blessings into my life that no man can conducted. God removed certain people out of my life because, they were not meant to enter the  next season with me.

So, you need to stop moping around and wondering why that person did not help you when  you needed it. Stop wondering why your so— called friends stop talking to you.(They were undercover haters anyhow lol.) Stop focusing on why your family members betrayed you. ( You knew that your relatives were crazy lol.) Anyhow, just let it all Go! God allowed the relationships to end. God prevented others from blessings you so, he can bless you. Stay positive and expect greater things to manifest in your life.

Danger of Toxic Relationships

My circle is pretty small I have at most seven close friends and of course I have my family. I feel like my circle has to be supportive, loving, and accpeting of my personality. My family and friends know me and genially accpet me for the woman I am; therefore through my turmoils and mixups they remain by my side. I’m grateful of this. However, the topic of this post is the danger of toxic relationships. What cause toxic relationships are toxic indiviuals. These people are usually condesening, patronizing, or simply haters who profess that they really love you. Toxic indivuals usually don’t know who they are, or their possibly unhappy with themselves. Anyhow, if you can relate to any of these signs within the people that are in your everyday life, run like hell. Lol. Seriously, the danger of toxic relationships can be detrimental to your well being here’s why. Toxic people are generally negative therefore their negative energy can overspill to you. You may find yourself always tring to uplift their contempt sprit, or opinion. Toxic people can drain the life out of you, they can have others so destroyed that its a challenge to function. You may find yourself changing to their standards. This will not be good for you, deep down inside you’re suffering. I will contiune part two of this tomorrow. God Bless and Be a Blessing. (P.S THE PICTURE REPRESENTS THE MOODS OF ONE WHO IS  INVOLVED IN A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP. THE FACIAL EXPRESSIONS WETE HAPPY,.CRYING, MAD, AND GOOFY)